buat yang minat bisa tanya2 ke CP atau follow aja @ganeshout2012
14.1.12
FORUM KOMUNIKASI MAHASISWA ITB BOGOR PRESENTS GANESHOUT! TRY OUT SNMPTN
buat yang minat bisa tanya2 ke CP atau follow aja @ganeshout2012
24.11.11
I'm Back
Ya jadi ceritanya ga pernah posting blog lagi semenjak kuliah. Terlalu banyak kalau mau diceritain satu-satu apa saja yang sudah terjadi. Sedikit mau cerita nih. Jadi ini ceritanya saya baru aja pulang tanding futsal. Pulang dengan kekalahan. ah sedih. Kalah terus kalo ada saya kayaknya. Gak tau kenapa jadi mau cerita tentang saya dan futsal.
Lupa pertama kali kapan main futsal. Paling ya pas pelajaran olahraga doang di SMA. Terus diajakin ekskul futsal sama anak-anak futsal pas SMA, karena waktu itu ga ada kiper. Banyak kenal kakak-kakak kelas & ade-ade kelas disana. Bener-bener banyak deh kenangannya sama tim futsal SMA saya dulu, Godzi. Dari kenangan-kenangan pas tanding, ada yang menang, ada yang kalah, kalah sampe skor lawan belasan, acara nginep "terheboh" selama hidup gw. Rasanya senyum terus kepikiran semua itu. Tapi kadang-kadang sedih juga sih, kalo inget betapa payahnya gw kalo maen :(. Kayaknya banyak banget salah gw kalo main, udah berisik teriak-teriak, jaga gawangnya juga ga bener, padahal seharusnya bisa menang tapi jadi kalah karena saya rada-rada dodol, dan masih banyak lagi, Terlebih lagi pertandingan terakhir bareng mereka, Ah kayaknya saya ngecewain mereka banget lah. Padahal mereka mainnya udah hebat, tapi saya grogi jadi awal-awal udah kebobolan banyak. Bener-bener kalo diinget udah rasanya ga mau tanding futsal lagi.
Tapi bareng mereka tuh bener-bener deh saya belajar banyak banget-banget. Dulu saya ga suka olahraga, tapi semenjak sama mereka, mau ga mau saya jadi suka. Mungkin tingkat kecintaan saya sama futsal dibandingin tingkat kecintaan mereka sama futsal itu masih rendah banget. Tapi beneran deh saya seneng banget kalo bisa main. Rasanya tuh ga kepikiran yang lain-lain. Dulu awal-awal kalo main terus kalah & kebobolan banyak, bener-bener udah pengen nangis, tapi karena ada mereka, jadi lebih bisa nerima lah. Terus disini saya juga jadi sadar, kalo saya itu orangnya panik-an banget banget, dan akhirnya jadi sering neriakin orang kalo lawannya udah deket. Dari mereka juga saya belajar yang namanya usaha semaksimal mungkin sampe titik darah penghabisan *aduh lebay*. Dulu ceritanya pernah udah kebobolan belasan - kosong itu, tapi bener-bener di akhir-akhir tuh kita main yang bener-bener maksimal lah, dan saya enjoy banget main sama mereka waktu itu. Saya udah ga mikirin skor berapa tapi bener-bener usaha maksimal lah ngeliat semangat mereka juga hebat banget. Tapi ya gitu, mereka tuh hebat-hebat. Saya jadi ngerasa nyusahin banget gitu, apalagi kalo udah kebobolan di awal-awal + banyak lagi.
Kembali ke pertandingan terakhir saya bareng Godzi, membuat saya mikir kalo saya tuh payah banget. Ga mau lagi 'tanding' (bukan 'main' ya) futsal. Karena saya ngerasa ya gitu skill saya cupu, ga adaan, bener-bener cuma nyusahin aja ntar kalo main. Tapi terus suatu hari di saat udah kuliah, temen saya bilang fakultas saya mau ikutan tpbcup. Itu tuh semacam tanding antar fakultas, tapi yang main tuh anak-anak tahun pertamanya gitu. Ah rasanya tuh pengen banget ikut, beneran rasanya saya kangen futsal, kangennya banget-banget lah. Tapi ya gitu, "trauma" masa lalu. Tapi kerinduaan saya mengalahkan semuanya #eaaaa. *Btw, ini teh bukan cerita yang happy ending ya*. Ya jadi saya bantuin temen saya itu ngajakin anak-anak cewenya ikutan main. Agak sedikit susah sih, tapi terkumpul lah 12 orang nih ceritanya yang mau ikutan. Saya pengen banget sedikit aja test diri saya, masihkah saya secupu itu. Ternyata masih :( aaaa sedih. Jadi tanpa pernah latihan satu kalipun, tanpa punya seragam tim disaat fakultas lain udah punya, kita tanding pertama kali dan menang. Puji Tuhan banget rasanya itu mah. Seneng banget ngeliat teman-teman baru saya ini bener-bener usaha membela fakultas kita ini.
Tibalah pertandingan kedua. Lawannya jago euy. Kita masih belom pernah latihan. Sayanya bingung, ga konsen liatin si bola. Kalah deh. Ga enak banget rasanya ke mereka. Sedih juga ngeliat temen2 mainnya kayaknya cape banget, karena cadangannya bener-bener cuma satu orang. Saya sih enak nongkrong di bawah gawang, larinya dikit, cuma korban lutut doang. Bener-bener deh sedih liatnya, saya pernah nyoba main dulu banget dan ga kuat. Karena ya kalo main ya mereka lari-lari terus. Tapi ngeliat mereka bener-bener beresin itu satu pertandingan dengan cuma 1 orang cadangan, rasanya saya pengen peluk mereka satu-satu terus bilang kalian hebat bangeeeeeeeet. *Mungkin ini tekesan lebay, tapi beneran deh, saya tau mereka udah cape banget waktu itu, bahkan ada yang sakit, tapi mereka usaha bener2 dan itu buat saya salut sama mereka*. Dan saya dapet oleh2 keseleo dan pergelangan kaki saya sampe sekarang kayak gajah gara-gara salah posisi kaki pas mendarat abis jatoh. Dan tentunya perasaan ga enak itu muncul lagi. Sedih juga ngeliat salah satu temen saya nangis pas abis kalah, tapi saya bingung mesti ngapain. Empati saya emang jelek banget. heuh maap ya temanku yang itu.
Kita semua udah ngerasa yaudah gitu selesai gitu. Ga ada tanding-tanding lagi abis ini. Terus tiba-tiba tadi sore, LO'nya sms kalo hari ini tanding jam 7. Langsung bingung sayanya, 2 jam sebelum tanding baru tau. SMSin anak-anak, lagi-lagi cuma 5 orang yang lain yang bisa main. Astaga lah cuman 1 lagi cadangannya? Padahal saya tau mereka semua capek tadi pagi abis lari 6 keliling saraga. Tapi ya apa mau dikata, masa kita kalah sebelum tanding. Itu kan lebih ga lucu lagi. Sisi manusiawi saya teh sedikit pengen marah gitu karena ada beberapa orang yg dulu bilang mau ikutan tapi ga pernah dateng pas tanding sama sekali. Tapi saya sadar, ya mereka juga capek, dan mungkin ga segitu sukanya main futsal. Hah, daripada nambah dosa gitu kesel sama orang, ya saya mah nyoba ngerti aja deh. Tapi tetep aja gitu sedih, ngeliat 5 orang yang dateng itu bener-bener mesti berjuang gitu. Dan saya sadar, lawannya teh pasti hebat. Bener-bener berserah sama Tuhan deh saya mah. Coba dibawa enjoy aja. Singkat cerita, kalah lagi. Dan saya maennya parah banget lah jeleknya. Ngecewain lagi. Jadi semakin bingung saya. Ga enaknya maksimal sama 5 orang itu. Ga enak sama anak tpb fakultas saya yg nonton. Semakin rasanya aaaaa udah ga mau tanding lagi euy.
Terus sekarang akhirnya saya galau. Padahal sekarang harusnya saya ngerjain tugas. Tugas. ya, Tugas....
*gantung sekali ini*
Lupa pertama kali kapan main futsal. Paling ya pas pelajaran olahraga doang di SMA. Terus diajakin ekskul futsal sama anak-anak futsal pas SMA, karena waktu itu ga ada kiper. Banyak kenal kakak-kakak kelas & ade-ade kelas disana. Bener-bener banyak deh kenangannya sama tim futsal SMA saya dulu, Godzi. Dari kenangan-kenangan pas tanding, ada yang menang, ada yang kalah, kalah sampe skor lawan belasan, acara nginep "terheboh" selama hidup gw. Rasanya senyum terus kepikiran semua itu. Tapi kadang-kadang sedih juga sih, kalo inget betapa payahnya gw kalo maen :(. Kayaknya banyak banget salah gw kalo main, udah berisik teriak-teriak, jaga gawangnya juga ga bener, padahal seharusnya bisa menang tapi jadi kalah karena saya rada-rada dodol, dan masih banyak lagi, Terlebih lagi pertandingan terakhir bareng mereka, Ah kayaknya saya ngecewain mereka banget lah. Padahal mereka mainnya udah hebat, tapi saya grogi jadi awal-awal udah kebobolan banyak. Bener-bener kalo diinget udah rasanya ga mau tanding futsal lagi.
Tapi bareng mereka tuh bener-bener deh saya belajar banyak banget-banget. Dulu saya ga suka olahraga, tapi semenjak sama mereka, mau ga mau saya jadi suka. Mungkin tingkat kecintaan saya sama futsal dibandingin tingkat kecintaan mereka sama futsal itu masih rendah banget. Tapi beneran deh saya seneng banget kalo bisa main. Rasanya tuh ga kepikiran yang lain-lain. Dulu awal-awal kalo main terus kalah & kebobolan banyak, bener-bener udah pengen nangis, tapi karena ada mereka, jadi lebih bisa nerima lah. Terus disini saya juga jadi sadar, kalo saya itu orangnya panik-an banget banget, dan akhirnya jadi sering neriakin orang kalo lawannya udah deket. Dari mereka juga saya belajar yang namanya usaha semaksimal mungkin sampe titik darah penghabisan *aduh lebay*. Dulu ceritanya pernah udah kebobolan belasan - kosong itu, tapi bener-bener di akhir-akhir tuh kita main yang bener-bener maksimal lah, dan saya enjoy banget main sama mereka waktu itu. Saya udah ga mikirin skor berapa tapi bener-bener usaha maksimal lah ngeliat semangat mereka juga hebat banget. Tapi ya gitu, mereka tuh hebat-hebat. Saya jadi ngerasa nyusahin banget gitu, apalagi kalo udah kebobolan di awal-awal + banyak lagi.
Kembali ke pertandingan terakhir saya bareng Godzi, membuat saya mikir kalo saya tuh payah banget. Ga mau lagi 'tanding' (bukan 'main' ya) futsal. Karena saya ngerasa ya gitu skill saya cupu, ga adaan, bener-bener cuma nyusahin aja ntar kalo main. Tapi terus suatu hari di saat udah kuliah, temen saya bilang fakultas saya mau ikutan tpbcup. Itu tuh semacam tanding antar fakultas, tapi yang main tuh anak-anak tahun pertamanya gitu. Ah rasanya tuh pengen banget ikut, beneran rasanya saya kangen futsal, kangennya banget-banget lah. Tapi ya gitu, "trauma" masa lalu. Tapi kerinduaan saya mengalahkan semuanya #eaaaa. *Btw, ini teh bukan cerita yang happy ending ya*. Ya jadi saya bantuin temen saya itu ngajakin anak-anak cewenya ikutan main. Agak sedikit susah sih, tapi terkumpul lah 12 orang nih ceritanya yang mau ikutan. Saya pengen banget sedikit aja test diri saya, masihkah saya secupu itu. Ternyata masih :( aaaa sedih. Jadi tanpa pernah latihan satu kalipun, tanpa punya seragam tim disaat fakultas lain udah punya, kita tanding pertama kali dan menang. Puji Tuhan banget rasanya itu mah. Seneng banget ngeliat teman-teman baru saya ini bener-bener usaha membela fakultas kita ini.
Tibalah pertandingan kedua. Lawannya jago euy. Kita masih belom pernah latihan. Sayanya bingung, ga konsen liatin si bola. Kalah deh. Ga enak banget rasanya ke mereka. Sedih juga ngeliat temen2 mainnya kayaknya cape banget, karena cadangannya bener-bener cuma satu orang. Saya sih enak nongkrong di bawah gawang, larinya dikit, cuma korban lutut doang. Bener-bener deh sedih liatnya, saya pernah nyoba main dulu banget dan ga kuat. Karena ya kalo main ya mereka lari-lari terus. Tapi ngeliat mereka bener-bener beresin itu satu pertandingan dengan cuma 1 orang cadangan, rasanya saya pengen peluk mereka satu-satu terus bilang kalian hebat bangeeeeeeeet. *Mungkin ini tekesan lebay, tapi beneran deh, saya tau mereka udah cape banget waktu itu, bahkan ada yang sakit, tapi mereka usaha bener2 dan itu buat saya salut sama mereka*. Dan saya dapet oleh2 keseleo dan pergelangan kaki saya sampe sekarang kayak gajah gara-gara salah posisi kaki pas mendarat abis jatoh. Dan tentunya perasaan ga enak itu muncul lagi. Sedih juga ngeliat salah satu temen saya nangis pas abis kalah, tapi saya bingung mesti ngapain. Empati saya emang jelek banget. heuh maap ya temanku yang itu.
Kita semua udah ngerasa yaudah gitu selesai gitu. Ga ada tanding-tanding lagi abis ini. Terus tiba-tiba tadi sore, LO'nya sms kalo hari ini tanding jam 7. Langsung bingung sayanya, 2 jam sebelum tanding baru tau. SMSin anak-anak, lagi-lagi cuma 5 orang yang lain yang bisa main. Astaga lah cuman 1 lagi cadangannya? Padahal saya tau mereka semua capek tadi pagi abis lari 6 keliling saraga. Tapi ya apa mau dikata, masa kita kalah sebelum tanding. Itu kan lebih ga lucu lagi. Sisi manusiawi saya teh sedikit pengen marah gitu karena ada beberapa orang yg dulu bilang mau ikutan tapi ga pernah dateng pas tanding sama sekali. Tapi saya sadar, ya mereka juga capek, dan mungkin ga segitu sukanya main futsal. Hah, daripada nambah dosa gitu kesel sama orang, ya saya mah nyoba ngerti aja deh. Tapi tetep aja gitu sedih, ngeliat 5 orang yang dateng itu bener-bener mesti berjuang gitu. Dan saya sadar, lawannya teh pasti hebat. Bener-bener berserah sama Tuhan deh saya mah. Coba dibawa enjoy aja. Singkat cerita, kalah lagi. Dan saya maennya parah banget lah jeleknya. Ngecewain lagi. Jadi semakin bingung saya. Ga enaknya maksimal sama 5 orang itu. Ga enak sama anak tpb fakultas saya yg nonton. Semakin rasanya aaaaa udah ga mau tanding lagi euy.
Terus sekarang akhirnya saya galau. Padahal sekarang harusnya saya ngerjain tugas. Tugas. ya, Tugas....
*gantung sekali ini*
30.6.11
AAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!
Lega juga akhirnya penantian gue selama ini membuahkan hasil. YAY! Gw akhirnya diterima di FSRD ITB! Puji Tuhan banget banget banget deh ini. Rasanya masih kayak mimpi
Jadi kemaren sekitar jam 6an sore gw baru buka twitter, dan tiba-tiba pada bilang pengumuman udah bisa di buka. Langsunglah gw buka web'nya, dan jeng jeng jeng , gw diterima, pake huruf bold
Sumpah rasanya ga percaya banget-banget, langsung loncat-loncat (suer ga pake lebay ini), peluk nyokap, peluk nenek gw. Bener-bener masih ga percaya.Langsung BBM sisca, my best friend yg udah tinggal di asrama sekarang :'( . Begitu liat twitter lagi, yang lain pada bilang web'nya belom bisa dibuka. Panik lah gw, ditambah rasa ga percaya karena rasanya uwow banget, gw memutuskan buka lagi, dan damn! ga bisa. Stop bilang ke yang lain-lain. Gw memutuskan untuk tunggu sampai jam 7.
Dan ternyataaaa ketika gw buka jam 7, gw tetep diterima! Man!
Dan ternyataaaa ketika gw buka jam 7, gw tetep diterima! Man!
Ga pernah sesenang ini gw dalam hidup gw. Tuhan itu memang baik banget :). Senengnya lagi , teman seperjuangan gw, arya, juga keterima!!! Dan dia bakalan botak sebentar lagi, itu janji dia. Sumpah ga rela!!!! Ga rela liat orang botak!!! Dan sekarang masih nyari anak recis cewe yg bisa diajak bareng-bareng. Dari SNMPTN undangan, cowo semua masa. Masih tanya sana-sini siapa cewe yang dapet ITB juga.
Ya intinya gw seneng banget! bersyukur banget banget banget bisa diterima. No more galau mikirin kuliah. Seneng bisa nyenengin bokap nyokap.
Gw tau jalaninnya bakalan ga mudah, tapi yg gw percaya, gw pasti bisa, pasti mampu. Karena kalo gw ga mampu, Tuhan ga bakal kasih ini buat gw. Aaaa, How I love my Lord. Yang pasti juga, gw ga bakalan sia2in kesempatan ini. I'll do my best for the next 4 years. Wish me luck!!!
Ya intinya gw seneng banget! bersyukur banget banget banget bisa diterima. No more galau mikirin kuliah. Seneng bisa nyenengin bokap nyokap.
Gw tau jalaninnya bakalan ga mudah, tapi yg gw percaya, gw pasti bisa, pasti mampu. Karena kalo gw ga mampu, Tuhan ga bakal kasih ini buat gw. Aaaa, How I love my Lord. Yang pasti juga, gw ga bakalan sia2in kesempatan ini. I'll do my best for the next 4 years. Wish me luck!!!
29.6.11
Edisi Galau Kuliah
Besok pengumuman SNMPTN tertulis. Dan gue super galau! Sekali lagi, SUPER GALAU!
Pilihan pertama gue adalah FAKULTAS SENI RUPA DAN DESIGN INSTITUT TEKNOLOGI BANDUNG!!!! Yup, FSRD ITB! Kenapa harus FSRD ITB? Pertama, gue sangat anti pelajaran IPA, meskipun gue anak IPA. Dan gue juga ga terlalu minat sama yang namanya hapal menghapal. Jadi meskipun gue ga jago gambar atau apalah itu, gue merasa satu-satunya bidang yang gue cocok adalah seni. Kedua, FSRD ITB itu udah yang paling top di sini. Jadi ya berjuanglah saya untuk itu 5 bulan terakhir. Keinginan untuk masuk FSRD ITB semakin kuat waktu ikut Try Out SNMPTN dari anak-anak ITB. Gue nonton video kegiatan mereka, dan menurut gue hidup kayak gitu tuh sangat menyenangkan!
Terus apa aja yang sudah gue lakukan untuk mencapai mimpi gue itu? Pertama, gue les gambar di Nirmana yang memang tempat les untuk persiapan tes FSRD ITB. Gue les dari sekitar Januari atau Februari gitu. FYI, sebelum ini gue ga bisa gambar sama sekali. Dari kecil gue suka pelajaran seni rupa Cuma kalau bikin kerajinan tangan, kalau disuruh gambar, hahaha jangan ditanya deh. Gambar gue kayak anak TK. Jadi dengan modal keinginan masuk ITB, akhirnya gue les. Awal-awal les gue sangat minder (sampai terakhir les juga gitu sih). Secara gue masuk udah agak telat, yang lain udah mulai gambar apa, gue baru gambar garis. Terus, temen gue, Arya & Nathan, yang masuknya barengan gue, mereka emang udah dasarnya jago gambar. Maaak! Gimana bisa gue keterima ITB kalo gini caranya?!?!? Bulan demi bulan pun berlalu #eaaaa. Meskipun tetep ga jago gambar, paling gak, gue bisa lah gambar orang dll buat gambar suasana. Meskipun keliatan banget gambar gue kalo dibandingin sama anak-anak yang lain tuh agak menyedihkan. Tapi untungnya “guru-guru” gambar gue selalu memberi masukan-masukan (meskipun gw kadang sering tetep aja ngulangin kesalahan yg sama). Terus, setelah setengah perjalanan menuju SNMPTN, ternyata diumumin kalo tes untuk FSRD ITB itu adalah *jeng jeng jeng jeng* IPS!! WOW! MAN! IPS! IPS!!! YA! IPS!. Semakin mati lah gue. Singkat cerita, gue ga ngambil les IPS sama sekali, karena gue udah pasrah. Sebenernya tadinya gue ngarep banget keterima SNMPTN Undangan, jadi ga perlu tes IPS gila itu. Tapi sayang sekali rejeki gue bukan di SNMPTN undangan.
Kalo ditanya orang pilihan kedua SNMPTN gue apa. Gw selalu menjawab gue ga milih apa-apa. Sebenernya gue milih, tapi sumpah itu pilihan yang bodoh banget! Not gonna tell it to anyone. Anggap saja gue Cuma mengisi pilihan pertama.
Terus gimana pas tesnya? Singkat cerita :
- - TPA : Ga beres!!! Cuma ngisi sedikit! Dan yang paling sucks, ga ada tes yg ada gambar2nya itu loh. DAMN!
- - Tes Kemampuan Dasar : Maaaak! Mati intinya. Matdas Cuma isi sedikit, BI ga yakin, dan Bahasa Inggrisnya sumpah tewas! Susah :’(
- - Tes IPS : ya lumayanlah, meskipun ga yakin, tapi masih bisa nebak-nebak dan ngisi banyak
- - Tes Gambar : ngegambar sih ngegambar, jawab soal lumayan, Cuma lupa ngasih bendera :’(. Tapi gue gatau gambar saingan-saingan gue itu sebagus apa. Jadi dibilang optimis enggak, dibilang pesimis juga enggak. Entahlah
Ya ya ya, jadi kembali ke paragraf pertama. Saya galau! Gimana ini? Gimana kalo ternyata ga keterima FSRD ITB??? Gimana? Gimana? Rela sih rela. Masih ada tahun depan. Tes lagi. Tapi pasti sedih banget. Ga mau ngecewain bokap nyokap. Meskipun nyokap bilang “gapapa kalo ga keterima, kan masih bisa kuliah di tempat lain” tapi tetep aja pasti dia kecewa if i couldn’t make it. Rawr!
Sebenernya dari dulu, gue ngebayangin gue kuliah di jogja. Bokap nyokap gue dulu kuliah di jogja. Gue lebih sering ke jogja daripada ke bandung. Dan gue sangat amat suka suasana jogja. Tapi ITB adanya di Bandung!!! Damn! Sedih juga menerima kenyataan ITB itu Institut Teknologi Bandung #apaan-banget! Kenapa ITB bukan di jogja.
Ya, jadi kalau besok jam 7 malam gue buka www.itb.ac.id dan menemukan gue diterima disana, ampun deh bakalan seneng banget banget banget banget! Meskipun hati gue sebenarnya menginkan gue di tempat lain.
Tapi yang jadi masalah adalah apabila gue ga diterima!
Plan A :Ikut tes ITENAS ambil desain produk. ITENAS itu di Bandung. Menurut guru les gue, di bandung itu no 2, setelah ITB. Banyak dosen ITB yang ngajar di ITENAS juga. Jadi worth to try lah, sementara menunggu SNMPTN tahun depan. Kalo menurut temen gue Alris, gapapa lah kalo mesti kuliah di ITENAS, secara Institut Teknologi NASIONAL, kalo ITB kan Cuma Institut Teknologi BANDUNG. Haha boleh-boleh, biar gue ga sedih-sedih amat kalo emang jalannya di ITENAS. Itu juga kalo diterima! Kalau gue menjalani plan A ini, tenanglah sedikit hidup gue, meskipun tetep ini bukan di jogja. Di bandung banyak temen. Jadi baguslah hidup gue kayaknya kalo beneran kayak begitu
Plan B : Ini Cuma sedikit yang tahu, karena takut orang pada mikir “macem-macem” kalo tau plan gue yang ini. Jadi rencana B adalah, gue test ISI (Institut Seni Indonesia) ambil desain interior. Nyokap kayaknya lebih milih gue ke ISI daripada ke ITENAS. Tapi gatau juga sih. Karena dia lebih nanyain ini. What’s the problem kalo gue ke ISI padahal ISI itu di jogja? Ya begitulah, akan sulit membuka lembar baru dalam hidup gue kalo gue kuliah di ISI #halah. Pokoknya kayaknya misi “menjalani-hidup-baru” gue bakalan gagal kalo gue kuliah di jogja. Tapi gue pengen banget man kuliah di jogja. Tapi tapi tapi ya gitu
Ya apapun hasilnya besok , gue tahu Tuhan punya rencana yang terbaik. Sekian edisi galau kuliah part 1 dari gue. Mari kita lihat apa yg akan terjadi besok. Wish me luck!!!!
16.5.11
that's what friends are for :)
This last three days had been pretty tough for me. I got so many things to think. I thought about my graduation, my future university, my position in something I couldn't tell here, and my feeling about someone. I got a lil bit stressed. And I felt so down. I kept it for myself cause I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling it to others. The only things I could do was writing "galau tweets" and pm. But thank God, I still have a lot of friends that I can count on.
Thanks to my 9f-amily for always making me smile, even though they didn't know my problem, being with them is really really made me happy. Thanks to cimeng for all the genius solutions and quote about "angkot". Thanks to dije and clara for always being care about me, for always asking if I had a problem everytime I tweet like this >>> :(. And thaks to arya for always being honest in giving his opinion, even though sometimes it hurts because he is very rude, but everything he said is always right.
Thanks to my 9f-amily for always making me smile, even though they didn't know my problem, being with them is really really made me happy. Thanks to cimeng for all the genius solutions and quote about "angkot". Thanks to dije and clara for always being care about me, for always asking if I had a problem everytime I tweet like this >>> :(. And thaks to arya for always being honest in giving his opinion, even though sometimes it hurts because he is very rude, but everything he said is always right.
12.5.11
GRAVITY - SARA BAREILLES
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here ‘til the moment I’m gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain
Set me free, leave me be
I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I’m just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me
You loved me ‘cause I’m fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you’re everything I think I need
Here on the ground
But you’re neither friend nor foe
Though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here ‘til the moment I’m gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain
Set me free, leave me be
I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I’m just the way I’m supposed to be
But you’re on to me and all over me
You loved me ‘cause I’m fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you’re everything I think I need
Here on the ground
But you’re neither friend nor foe
Though I can’t seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you’re keeping me down
You’re keeping me down
6.9.10
Door to my heart is closed
The key to my heart I once gave to you
I trusted you and I believed in you
Once you were my everything
The one that made my heart shout and sing
I told you about how I feel for you
The only thing I wanted - was that you love me too
The key to my heart you did throw away
when your hands wandered and you let them go astray
You would have broken my heart,
if I would have had the key
but so my heart turned to stone
that was never the way it was meant to be
Tears and pain have turned my heart into stone
I closed the entrance to my soul with an iron lock
Rusty and dark the lock now is
Forgotten laughter, love and bliss
In some rainy night I still can hear the song of my heart
Singing of forgotten times and our love
Singing of the key that once you got
Singing of you - because I still love you ... a lot!
credit
I trusted you and I believed in you
Once you were my everything
The one that made my heart shout and sing
I told you about how I feel for you
The only thing I wanted - was that you love me too
The key to my heart you did throw away
when your hands wandered and you let them go astray
You would have broken my heart,
if I would have had the key
but so my heart turned to stone
that was never the way it was meant to be
Tears and pain have turned my heart into stone
I closed the entrance to my soul with an iron lock
Rusty and dark the lock now is
Forgotten laughter, love and bliss
In some rainy night I still can hear the song of my heart
Singing of forgotten times and our love
Singing of the key that once you got
Singing of you - because I still love you ... a lot!
credit
26.8.10
10.8.10
one more reason I should never have met you just another reason I could never forget you
Me, Velda, Alris, and Elkarina went to Tennis Indoor Senayan to watch ALL TIME LOW on August 4. It was my second rock concert. I don't know why but before the concert began I didn't feel the same excitement as I felt for the Boys Like Girls' concert last January.
Me, Velda, and Elkarina went together, then met Alris at the venue. When we got into the venue, there was already lotta people. We got the same spot like on the BLG concert. Lucky me, latter we found out that Jack's position was in front of us. We waited while talking about our "future". We waited about 3 hours before All Time Low performed. After an opening act by a local band, Rocket Rockers, the light dimmed again. People started scream again. Then the real concert began.
The crowd went crazy when All Time Low played the first song, Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't). People started to jump and push. It was pretty crazy. I got pushed so hard. But I kept jump and sing along with Alex. LOL. I didn't want to lose opportunity to scream my lungs out singing their song. The bras started to fly to the stage when the second or third song was played. As usual, Jack put his collection on his mic stand.
Overall, the concert was awesome! Jack was so attractive. He kept moving around the stage and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. LOL. Alex was pretty awesome too. I couldn't see Zack clearly, because he was on the other side of the stage. And Rian was "hiding" behind his drum set.
And the most surprising thing happened that night is *drum-roll* All Time Low and Rocket Rockers played Blink 182's song "Dammit". When I heard the intro, I was soooooo happy. FYI, I LOVE BLINK 182! And hearing ATL played their song felt like heaven. That was my favorite part of this concert.
ATL played Dear Maria Count Me In at the closing. I felt that the time flied so fast. I didn't realize that they already played 14 songs. I really need more than 14 songs! But FUCKYEAHALLTIMELOW! I hope one day, they'll come back as they promised.
I'll post the pictures latter, cause I'm too lazy to edit them on photoshop.
Me, Velda, and Elkarina went together, then met Alris at the venue. When we got into the venue, there was already lotta people. We got the same spot like on the BLG concert. Lucky me, latter we found out that Jack's position was in front of us. We waited while talking about our "future". We waited about 3 hours before All Time Low performed. After an opening act by a local band, Rocket Rockers, the light dimmed again. People started scream again. Then the real concert began.
The crowd went crazy when All Time Low played the first song, Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't). People started to jump and push. It was pretty crazy. I got pushed so hard. But I kept jump and sing along with Alex. LOL. I didn't want to lose opportunity to scream my lungs out singing their song. The bras started to fly to the stage when the second or third song was played. As usual, Jack put his collection on his mic stand.
Overall, the concert was awesome! Jack was so attractive. He kept moving around the stage and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. LOL. Alex was pretty awesome too. I couldn't see Zack clearly, because he was on the other side of the stage. And Rian was "hiding" behind his drum set.
And the most surprising thing happened that night is *drum-roll* All Time Low and Rocket Rockers played Blink 182's song "Dammit". When I heard the intro, I was soooooo happy. FYI, I LOVE BLINK 182! And hearing ATL played their song felt like heaven. That was my favorite part of this concert.
ATL played Dear Maria Count Me In at the closing. I felt that the time flied so fast. I didn't realize that they already played 14 songs. I really need more than 14 songs! But FUCKYEAHALLTIMELOW! I hope one day, they'll come back as they promised.
I'll post the pictures latter, cause I'm too lazy to edit them on photoshop.
11.7.10
goodbye heaven!
yeah today is the last day of my not-so-long-holiday. Tomorrow I'll be back to school. I am so excited! I really wanna know who my classmates are. I hope I won't be in the same class with him (finger-crossed). And I hope one of my best friends will be in the same class with me. But, I am pretty sad remembering that I can't wake up late again. Tomorrow, I should wake up at 4.30 because I'm on the student council and all the members should come at 6.30 tomorrow to help the new students for their orientation day. And I already promised myself to watch the final game of world cup which will be held around 1 or 2 pm tomorrow. Errr. Just so you know, I haven't watch any world cup match this year, that's why I should watch the final one. LOL
I don't know if I will be ready for school again or not. This is my last year in high school which means it's gonna be hard for me. I should study, study, and study to prepare the national exam and I should thinking about university thingy since I am still not sure about the major that I'm gonna take. Then, I am still not ready facing the assignments and the daily tests. My gosh! I want more holidaaaaay! Beside them, I am still not ready to face more high school drama. the actors and actress, the fight, pretense, everything! I hope I can handle it and enjoy my last year in high school.
p.s. : I haven't watch Eclipse! and not really interested actually, since I didn't watch New Moon either.
p.p.s : I think I should deactivate my twitter account (again). because twitter is the main temptation in my study time! what do you think? should I or shouldn't I?
p.s. : I haven't watch Eclipse! and not really interested actually, since I didn't watch New Moon either.
p.p.s : I think I should deactivate my twitter account (again). because twitter is the main temptation in my study time! what do you think? should I or shouldn't I?
3.7.10
what can I say?
i have a lot of concepts in my mind for photo shoots. i got them after reading a lot of fairy tales. but the problem is i don't have any friend that will be patient enough to be my model for the photo shoot. because, yknow it will take hours to get a satisfying result for an amateur and a-little-bit-perfectionist like me. well, there are a lot of amateur photographers out there that visualizing their concept by making self portraits. i can do it too, BUT i have no ability to put that kind of model expression on my not-pretty-face. total failure happened last week, Leon said that i look like a depressed person on this photo. LOL. what can i say?
13.6.10
Book Review : The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer
I just finished reading "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner" written by Stephenie Meyer who also write the Twilight saga. It tells about the newborn vampire, Bree. Bree was mentioned in Eclipse. She's the last vampire from the Riley's coven. This book tells about how Bree and Diego made a relationship they never had before in their life as vampires. But their relationship ended tragically. This book tells more about the newborn vampires life when they still need a lot of effort to control their self. I gave 3 stars for this book. It is so much like the twilight saga, but with less romantic scene. If you like the twilight saga, you may also like this. I'm always impressed how Stephenie Meyer can explain someone's thought and feeling so clearly. She did it again with Bree's. I think this book will help us understand Eclipse from another perspective. So, if you are too lazy to read Eclipse before you watch the movie, this book is good to recall the story on Eclipse
You can read this book on its official website (here). Or you can find the download-able version on 4shared, even though its official website tell us that it can't be downloaded.
You can read this book on its official website (here). Or you can find the download-able version on 4shared, even though its official website tell us that it can't be downloaded.
2.5.10
Give Me Something To Believe In
I don't know how to start this post. As you know, I'm not good at combining words and it's hard for me to write down what's on my mind. I hope you understand the point.
Kak Cassey, Jane, and Karen posted what they think about love on their blog. They inspired me to write this. They make me think what love really is for me.
So maybe I can start with this question :
Hell, I have no idea about it.
Kak Cassey wrote something about falling out love
Well, I used to think that I ever fell in love with some guys. But what Kak Cassey said made me think "did I really fall in love?". I still can't answer it. First, I keep fallin out love. Then, I'm often confused every time I try to convince myself about what I really feel about a boy. Here's the options:
* I admire him
* I just wanna know him closer
* I like him
* I love him
* I am obsessed with him
Kak Cassey, Jane, and Karen posted what they think about love on their blog. They inspired me to write this. They make me think what love really is for me.
So maybe I can start with this question :
"What is LOVE?"
Hell, I have no idea about it.
Kak Cassey wrote something about falling out love
"There is no such thing as 'falling out of love'. If you think you've fallen out of it, you probably never have been in it."
Well, I used to think that I ever fell in love with some guys. But what Kak Cassey said made me think "did I really fall in love?". I still can't answer it. First, I keep fallin out love. Then, I'm often confused every time I try to convince myself about what I really feel about a boy. Here's the options:
* I admire him
* I just wanna know him closer
* I like him
* I love him
* I am obsessed with him
I don't know what's the differences between them. So, it's hard to define what I really feel inside for a guy. Or they are just steps that lead you to be fallin in love with someone? First, you admire him, then you wanna know him more, after that you like him. Then suddenly you realize that you love him until it makes you obsessed. Ah I have no idea about it. After thinking about that, I conclude that I've never really fallen in love.
But Karen said "every girl in this universe must be fell in love, even once." Well how it feels when you are fallin in love with someone then?
When I can't stop staring at a guy because nobody can be as attractive as him and I don't notice the presence of other people, am I already fallin in love?
When I can't stop thinking about him and happy moments we spent together, am I already fallin in love?
When I am happy inside and outside every time he crosses my mind, am I already fallin in love?
When I always try to get excuses so I can talk to him and I just wanna be with him forever because I know he will always make me secure and comfortable, am I already fallin in love?
When I feel jealous when he's with another girl, am I already fallin in love?
When I feel a lot of enthusiasm and strength because of him, am I already fallin in love?
When I care a lot about him, until I forget about caring myself, am I already fallin in love?
I just googled and that are what people said about signs of falling in love. I don't know, but I think love is bigger than that. It's not just about things above. Even though I don't know what it is, I believe there are another things that make love amazing. A sixteen years old girl like me have not enough experience to define what it is. Maybe my love to anyone is not deep enough, so i still haven't feel the magic of love.
Now it's about heartbreak. We can't leave this thing if we want to talk about love. They said love is painfully beautiful. I think the heartbreak makes it painful. I got my serious heartbreak for 3 times. It does hurt of course. It's kinda ruin my life for a while. But it surely can be healed. Heartbreak doesn't make me afraid to be in love. Because I know that's the risk of being in love. Even though it hurts, I know I will always get through this.
But for now, I think I am not ready for love. Just like what I said, it's not that I'm afraid of the risk. I just don't wanna love someone too deep. Now, for me guys are not to be loved. I just want to be their friends. Because hanging out with the guys can be so much fun without involving love.
There's something that can make me be myself when I am with my boy (with space) friends. I don't care about what I said in front of them, because I know they will not think much about it. I can say whatever I want. It's kinda different if I am with the girls. I am afraid if my words will hurt them, so I become more controllable when I am together with the girls.
Then, boys always know how to make me laugh. Especially my close boy friends and my classmates. They're kinda crazy. They often do and say silly things that make me ROTFL. Even though sometimes they can be annoying if they start "bullying" me. Don't get them wrong. They don't literally bully me. They just try to have some fun by trying to make me upset. I know they're just kidding. And I can accept that.
Some of them are great friends to talk. Once again, talking about silly things with them is fun. I also like sharing my problem with them. Because they are more realistic. Even though sometimes, the way they give me advice is kinda rude. But it's good for me, because sometime the girls will always support us even though they know that we should stop.
Umm, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like talking and sharing my problems with my girls. I do love my girls, they can be crazy too. And they help me a lot if I have problems. But it's still different. Ah hope you know what I mean.
Well, I think this post is already long enough. And it's already out of topic. The conclusion is now I don't wanna think about love. Because I still can have some fun with boys without loving them. And I don't really need to be in love now. But of course I still hope that I can feel the true love, someday. I am waiting if someone can really knock my heart and make me feel the love. Someday baby, someday.
But Karen said "every girl in this universe must be fell in love, even once." Well how it feels when you are fallin in love with someone then?
When I can't stop staring at a guy because nobody can be as attractive as him and I don't notice the presence of other people, am I already fallin in love?
When I can't stop thinking about him and happy moments we spent together, am I already fallin in love?
When I am happy inside and outside every time he crosses my mind, am I already fallin in love?
When I always try to get excuses so I can talk to him and I just wanna be with him forever because I know he will always make me secure and comfortable, am I already fallin in love?
When I feel jealous when he's with another girl, am I already fallin in love?
When I feel a lot of enthusiasm and strength because of him, am I already fallin in love?
When I care a lot about him, until I forget about caring myself, am I already fallin in love?
I just googled and that are what people said about signs of falling in love. I don't know, but I think love is bigger than that. It's not just about things above. Even though I don't know what it is, I believe there are another things that make love amazing. A sixteen years old girl like me have not enough experience to define what it is. Maybe my love to anyone is not deep enough, so i still haven't feel the magic of love.
Now it's about heartbreak. We can't leave this thing if we want to talk about love. They said love is painfully beautiful. I think the heartbreak makes it painful. I got my serious heartbreak for 3 times. It does hurt of course. It's kinda ruin my life for a while. But it surely can be healed. Heartbreak doesn't make me afraid to be in love. Because I know that's the risk of being in love. Even though it hurts, I know I will always get through this.
But for now, I think I am not ready for love. Just like what I said, it's not that I'm afraid of the risk. I just don't wanna love someone too deep. Now, for me guys are not to be loved. I just want to be their friends. Because hanging out with the guys can be so much fun without involving love.
There's something that can make me be myself when I am with my boy (with space) friends. I don't care about what I said in front of them, because I know they will not think much about it. I can say whatever I want. It's kinda different if I am with the girls. I am afraid if my words will hurt them, so I become more controllable when I am together with the girls.
Then, boys always know how to make me laugh. Especially my close boy friends and my classmates. They're kinda crazy. They often do and say silly things that make me ROTFL. Even though sometimes they can be annoying if they start "bullying" me. Don't get them wrong. They don't literally bully me. They just try to have some fun by trying to make me upset. I know they're just kidding. And I can accept that.
Some of them are great friends to talk. Once again, talking about silly things with them is fun. I also like sharing my problem with them. Because they are more realistic. Even though sometimes, the way they give me advice is kinda rude. But it's good for me, because sometime the girls will always support us even though they know that we should stop.
Umm, don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like talking and sharing my problems with my girls. I do love my girls, they can be crazy too. And they help me a lot if I have problems. But it's still different. Ah hope you know what I mean.
Well, I think this post is already long enough. And it's already out of topic. The conclusion is now I don't wanna think about love. Because I still can have some fun with boys without loving them. And I don't really need to be in love now. But of course I still hope that I can feel the true love, someday. I am waiting if someone can really knock my heart and make me feel the love. Someday baby, someday.
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